Arraw lli Ur Illin

First published as To Have a Ghost Baby (Isele Magazine. July 29, 2020) by N. Jane Kalu

Translated into Tamazight by El Housseine Abouazza

Tḍṛ nn tafukt, imzalal titrit n tiwwudc, ar ikkat aẓilal s illi y nn tḍṛ, ar ismuqqul s wayyur is ilul, Arraw lli Ur Illin issu iman, ar t isiggil, iggami t, imik s ar ittannay yan isk n tifawt yugga d, yufa t, ziɣ d ba rmḍan ad d yuckan s dar tasa, ar ittini tugga ad: rbbi ur igi bla yan, ig muḥmmad arqqas nns, ad fllaɣ icckcm rbbi ayyur ad n uzum s ufulki d tdusi! Isawl d sis ba rmḍan, inna as: tasa hayi uckiy d tini as tasa: ah a ba rmḍan, tuckit d y gar izmaz, tufit iyi d mhruciɣ ukan! Ar ttujudn ayt tmazirt i wuẓum, ccan imnsi, sliln imawn nnsn, sliln ilmawn nnsn, ad aẓumn si mraw d tẓa n wass nɣ d mraw, tlkm tis kraḍt ɣ id ann, yall lfqqih abrraḥ nns ɣ tmzgida, ar ittini: ilkm uzmz n sḥur, ilkm uzmz n ugdur win tkirrut yan imik! Nkrnt tawjiwin, gant kullu tɣzanin n tmazirt asfiw, ccan sḥur nnsn, sliln imawn nnsn, ẓẓalln taẓallit tamzwarut ɣ wayyur n uẓum, gnn, tɣli d tafukt, tknussa tmazirt, gnn middn, tnna asn d tafukt: ɣalx is d tfud ad ittasin tdis, ziɣ d tdis ad ittasin tfud, Arraw lli Ur Illin manza kn awi.

Uddnnt takẓin, idruri d umalu, iṛẓa wass, s ar dax ttujud tdis ad tasi tfud nns, ugmn d middn aman ɣ uɣbalu, gn nn azkkif, illa mad nn igan azkkif n tmẓin, illa mad nn igan win zbib d tlintit d imik n tfyya, skrn lmris d Iqhwa, ittrs d uskriy d bufqqus d buyṭṭub, ula udi d tammnt d lluz islin d uɣrum irɣan, ha win ufllun, ha win tannurt, ha wad imlan, ha tikurin n lbsis n wudi ibsusan, uddnnt tiwwudc.

Arn uẓum nnsn, ccn, ddun dar trawḥ ɣ tmzgid. Wis sin wussan, ur sul ign, yawwuz ɣ dar tfrxin, fkn tt gis i taqqurt, gn tadhrirt, iḍ ur aẓumn, ufan aɣaras s wawal, mdrzn, ttkar tsukt s iɛrrimn ula tiɛrrimin, Arraw lli Ur Illin ur illi mad nn iqaman ɣ tgmmi nnsn, kuyan ikṣuḍ ad yawi iḍṣ tawja nns, tssaki tirmt n sḥur, ukan mdrzn ɣ tsukt ar kiɣ iwin azmz n sḥur s tgmmaw nnsn.

Inkr d ɣ iḍṣ tuẓẓumt n wass Ili igan wis krad, iwwats agdz, ikk yan usuk ɣzzifn Iliɣ fsrn willi zznzanin tugtt n tɣawsiwin, tlla cbbakiya, illa zzitun, illa ku anaw n tiyni, illa uɣrum is ka izggwaɣ, ijja usuk ann, illa ukfay ka imlluln zun d iɣ ismndl udfl ɣ iggi n wafa yattuyn, aḥlig nns ar ka isɣirriy, ar bahra tkḍunt tnzar nns, rɣan waman ɣ imi nns, immurḍla, ur iẓdar i yat, iga akk laẓ n walln, kra d iga ɣ uqrab nns, ur t irur s tgmmi, ar ittasi, ar issaɣ ɣ ugdz. Izri wayyur, immt, ilul wayyad, ar t siggiln middn ɣ ignwan lliy nn tḍṛ tafukt, yaf t nit dax, ingḍ ɣ tumrt n tfugla n uẓum lli izrin, Tkarn middn lmikat nnsn s iɣaln n uɣrum Arraw lli Ur Illin.

Gin gis tiyni, tugtt niẓmi n igumma, ar ttqln s tiwwudc, Arraw lli Ur Illin kuyan ar gis ttwirriynt walln, ar iswirriy ils nns ɣ imi, ar sɣirriyn wadan nns s waḍu n laẓ, ur sul ar swingimn abla ɣ umtcu d irifi.

Aflla n wawal yiwi tugtt n unaruz s umtcu, ar izray wass, lkmnt takẓin, ar ittini d ixf nns: icqqa uẓum! Tkarn middn lmikat nnsn s iɣaln n uɣrum, gin gis tiyni, tugtt niẓmi n igumma, ar ttqln s tiwwudc, kuyan ar gis ttwirriynt walln, Arraw lli Ur Illin ar iswirriy ils nns ɣ imi, ar sɣirriyn wadan nns s waḍu n laẓ, ur sul ar swingimn abla ɣ umtcu d irifi. Aflla n wawal yiwi tugtt n unaruz s umtcu, ar izray wass, lkmnt takẓin, ar ittini d ixf nns: icqqa uẓum! Iḍṛ d umalu, inna i mas, skr iyi a immi lmris n uggrn ijjan ilan tazuknnit, skr tiram tiqburin ula timaynutin! Tḍṛ nn tafukt, uddnnt tiwwudc, yaf azmz s umtcu, ig nn imi ɣ waman, yar uẓum, isu yat tsaḍṛt n uzkkif, ig tasalt, ur sul iẓḍar i yat, ar ittẓi d ixf nns.

Inna as Adyar astratiji g tlla tmazirt nny yiws as ad tzmmim yan umzruy immrksn.

munnt gis tugtt n tutlayin, d tussniwin, d isyann; am tutlayt tamaziyt Ili igan tin.

Tmazirt, d teibrit d trumit, d taerabt, d tfransist... mk lli gis immrks kigan n tmyurin, zun d tin udayn d wiyyad, kra gisnt iyama sul ar ass ad nit.

Tga tmurt nny n ikabarn n usyzznz gr tmula n Urubba d tin, slawan akkWasaka n ugwns n tnzruft tamqqrant lli yiwin. Aywa ara ma mi tẓḍaṛt, Arraw lli Ur Illin tuẓẓumt n wass tgit taɣuyyit s laẓ d irifi, ur illi ma d ur tsɣit, aywa fk afus i tirmt, ur ukan gik abla laẓ n walln, tggamit ma s rad tafst adis nnk, is d tiram timaynutin nɣ d tiram tiqburin?

Itkar Imrfɛ, ittrs d tugtt n wanawn n tiram, ar asn ittkks akyud, bjr d wi d, bjr d winn, ar isgal alkdis. Nttan ur igi mad inkkrn iẓẓl, ifsr, laḥ laẓ ula irifi, ar ittkks iḍṛmas i ixf nns, inna as: aywa frd ha tirmt ɣ mnid nnk, nɣ d lliɣ nn ka tgit algammu, ad tt trit! Ar dids tettẓi ula mas, tnna as: aywa ctta, ur tẓḍart i yat, ati kullu tiɣawsiwiu_mkann ad gant, tanna ur tlkmt, ar ka_gis tswingimt, ad ukan tili ddu ufus nnk, tḥacat s tt, ar dax tswigimt ɣ tayyaḍ! Tlkm tuẓẓumt n wayyur n uẓum, skrn ayt tmazirt tizlafin n sksu s tmzgida, ẓẓulln imẓẓulla tiwwudc s d ufan tizlafin ccan tnt wazzann, llɣn tnt, ccn ula nttni, gn nn tulawin nnsn s ṛbbi, ssutrn as afsay d ussfḍ n ibaḍan i lal n tzlafin ann. Iḍarn, yarud iswi ɣ udis n ufgan, ṛẓmnt tumtdin i tadunt, ilkm iḍ n simraw d sa, mann d middn, ɣrsn i taɣaḍt ɣ tmzgida, skrn tafugla i iḍ ann, gn nn gis imnsi, ṛẓmnt tmɣarin tistrin n tujjut, usin d agusim (tswik) d taẓult, ɣmint lḥnna n iḍ ann.

Bxxrnt tigmmaw nnsnt afad ad ggwznt trɛmin iḍ ann ɣ ignwan, ad nn asint tiwwuriwin, awuzn, iḍṣ igwdl ɣ iḍ ann, illa iɣ ar ttẓallan, illa iɣ ar aqqran lquran, illa iɣ ar ttalsn i tẓallit f urqqas nns, illa iɣ ka ttalsn i tulɣa n ṛbbi d urqqas nns, idda nn iḍ, ccan middn sḥur ɣ tmzgida, ẓẓalln taẓallit n zik, watsn tigmmaw nnsn, snaln tisggiw nns i wakal, iɣ d tɣli tafukt, ddunt tmɣarin s ismḍal, ssafdnt nn gis tamlla n ṛbbi i id babtsnt d id mastn ula imuslmn akkW lli Ilanin ɣ ismḍal. Izri wayyur, immt, ilul wayyad, ar t siggiln middn ɣ ignwan lliy nn tḍṛ tafukt, yaf t nit dax, ingḍ ɣ tumrt n tfugla n uẓum lli izrin, Tkarn middn lmikat nnsn s iɣaln n uɣrum, gin gis tiyni, tugtt niẓmi n igumma, ar ttqln s tiwwudc, kuyan ar gis ttwirriynt walln, ar iswirriy ils nns ɣ imi, ar sɣirriyn wadan nns s waḍu n laẓ, ur sul ar swingimn abla ɣ umtcu d irifi. Aflla n wawal yiwi tugtt n unaruz s umtcu, ar izray wass, lkmnt takẓin, ar ittini d ixf nns: icqqa uẓum!

Imsifiḍ ba rmḍan d tasa inna as: tasa, ilkm iyi uzmz ad ddux! Tnna as tasa: ddu aggw nn, hanay nn askkattu nnk ɣ wasqqif, ad aɣ ig ṛbbi d inagan n imal!

Tadggwat, gnt tmyarin d wazzann lḥnna, iffu lḥal d lɛid, lsin middn timlsa timaynutin, ḍin tumẓin i im ẓlaḍ, ku taqllalt tḍi anfṭṭr n tmẓin, ẓẓalln d middn lɛid, msifiḍn d ingratsn, bbin dax iskraf, fkn dax afus i tirmt ula gar awal. G udɣar nns g tɣmrt n izlmd n ifriqya; ar nn ttaggwa tmazirt nnɣ xf snat tsgiwin n ill; iswutta tt id g iẓlmḍ ill amllal anammas; s uftas nns iɣzzifn s mad nn yakmurn Kilumitr.

Tɣrrd zɣ Sɛidiya, ar tiɣrmt n Tanja, trar tt id g iffus tmurt n, ill n Atlas amqqran g tagut.

Tzdi dis tamurt n Dzayr g tsga n iming, tumz tmurt tamurrukit mad igan mnnawn ikaliwn nns.

Gr izaɣarn, d tnzruft, d idrarn, slawan akk Atlas anammas, d umqqran Ili yattuyn s tiɣzi ngr ar n mitru, ig udrar n Tubqal amattuy d umqqran nnsn. Arraw lli Ur Illin Ittuybḍa xf n tsgiwin; ar gis ttazzaln isaffn imqqrann, ddrn sul iglmamn nns amẓn tazgzut nnsn iẓiln. Addad n unzwi nns iẓ1i gr tmnaḍt s tayyad, iga anammas g iẓlmd, d win ill g tagut n umurukc; iggut unzruf, d tskWfaI n trɣi g iffus, ig unzwi amntil n ummẓli n wanawn n waddagn, d tfsut Ili s akk tzgzaw tmazirt nnɣ, tbdd tkiḍa tṛẓm i yifr ad t ismussu uzwu; yamẓ wargan idular, yili ikikr, d waynri, d uwrẓaḍ, ifsi ujddig ifrawn nns i tizzwa lli ẓṭṭanin tammemt g taddarin n idular. Izri uun n imzdayn n tmurt ad mlyun, tuggt nnsn gan icrrimn, gis kigan n tyrmin tidlsanin zun d d tyrmin tidamsanin am Wuc d tiyyaq. Ku tiymt teuaf tarabbut n tunnunt.

Adyar astratiji g tlla tmazirt nny yiws as ad tzmmim yan umzruy immrksn, munnt gis tugtt n tutlayin, d tussniwin, d isyann; am tutlayt tamaziyt Ili igan tin. Tmazirt, d teibrit d trumit, d taerabt, d tfransist... mk lli gis immrks kigan n tmyurin, zun d tin udayn d wiyyad, kra gisnt iyama sul ar ass ad nit. Tga tmurt nny n ikabarn n usyzznz gr tmula n Urubba d tin, slawan akkWasaka n ugwns n tnzruft tamqqrant lli yiwin.

Innurzm xf tmula n brra, lli igan n idyarn i tugttt n imzdayn ayt tmurt nny salan gisnt tugttt n wanawn n twwuriwin.

Mad as ismdn afulki d watig. iga_t wanawn n lli gis illan, slawan akkW amarg d uwan. Ar ttirirn imlmwcn, biddn s uncibar yili ussuss d uhnaqqar.

Ilint taskiwin d Icwwad, yili ubidus, d hrrma, d ugdur, bidsn irgazn, ularnt trbatin, kknt d twckinin n lbbaq, d ujddig ignna, isawl ganga d tayrit...

Tettuska akk W tmurt nny s wanawn n tuskiwin, gis tasgda taqqburt, tili tmaynut, ilin igdzn d ilmuqqarn ku asggwas, g mnnawt tmnadin, ma ann ad ifkan abuylu i igr n tmallayt. Tadamsa n tmlrt nny nttat. Izri wayyur, immt, ilul wayyad, ar t siggiln middn ɣ ignwan lliy nn tḍṛ tafukt, yaf t nit dax, ingḍ ɣ tumrt n tfugla n uẓum lli izrin, Tkarn middn lmikat nnsn s iɣaln n uɣrum, gin gis tiyni, tugtt niẓmi n igumma, ar ttqln s tiwwudc, kuyan ar gis ttwirriynt walln, ar iswirriy ils nns ɣ imi, ar sɣirriyn.

Wadan nns s waḍu n laẓ, ur sul ar swingimn abla ɣ umtcu d irifi. Aflla n wawal yiwi tugtt n unaruz s umtcu, ar izray wass, Arraw lli Ur Illin lkmnt takẓin, ar ittini d ixf nns: icqqa uẓum! Tga tanammast, ar nttay s brra afusfa, d kra n tyafut n tkrza,d tin ill. Assllmd g tmùrrnny, ur ta jun ilkm tiskfal Ili Ikmnt tmula, slawan akkW tin tamunt n urubba. Tad ad igan tamazirt nny, amk Ili tettinin willi zrinin kiean ad izrin xf waklim ur imdudi.